National Boss’s Day is here!

If ever there were a day to impress your boss, today is that day. Extra brownie points have never hurt anyone. After all, impressing your boss will lead to a less stressful work environment and potentially more pay. Now, who doesn’t want that?

We do realize that you may not like your boss. In fact, statistically speaking, the majority of people who will read this blog wouldn’t be friends with their bosses outside of the workplace. Nonetheless, employing the following tips will only help you. So why not give it a shot?

Some of the following tips may seem a bit outlandish. You may find yourself wondering how what you read will positively affect your boss. But we promise these are all scientifically backed tips. We are not making any of these up. Are you ready to give it a go? Here we go…

Tip 1: Whenever Possible, Wear Red To The Office

A study published in the Journal of Hospitality and Tourism Research found waitresses who wore red generally earned more money.

I know! Red? But why?

Wearing red subconsciously signals to others that you’re committed, focused, and trustworthy. Who knew?

Tip 2: Wearing Makeup Goes A Long Way (If You’re A Woman)

According to a study, professional women who wear makeup are found to be seen as more competent and likable than women who don’t wear makeup in the workplace.

Interestingly enough, the aforementioned study was paid for by makeup manufacturer Procter & Gamble so we can probably take this particular tip with a grain of salt. *side eye*

Tip 3: Pull A Jedi Mind Trick And Make Them Believe Your Great Idea Was Their Great Idea

Don’t get us wrong. We don’t encourage lying to your boss for National Boss’s Day. However, sometimes a little lite mind control doesn’t hurt. If you can convince them that your idea was theirs they’ll more than likely take it easy on you and encourage you to work on their great idea…that was actually yours.

In his book Unconscious Branding, author Douglas Van Praet contends:

“The brain doesn’t always clearly differentiate between something real and something imagined. Our imagination and our perception of the real world are closely linked since both functions engage similar neural circuitry. Numerous scientific studies confirm that visualization and mental imagery enhances actual physical performance, demonstrating the very real benefits of mental rehearsal. If you can get someone to imagine something vividly enough, you are well on your way to making the suggestion real. 

When you imagine something it transforms the message from a universal one to a uniquely personal concept and not an attempt at external manipulation.”

So there you have it. Make them relate to the idea personally, they’ll attach to it and your work will be cut out for you. Easy Breezy!

Tip 4 : Don’t Be So Quick To Help Others

We understand this one comes off a little mean-spirited but follow us on this. Helping others at work sometimes isn’t a good thing.

According to German and Swiss researchers, when you help others at work it takes away from YOUR work performance and you may ultimately not look so good in your boss’s eyes. The study went on to say that the people who asked for help usually end up performing better at work than those that were nice and offered help.

Interrupting your own work to help someone else’s with theirs makes you counterproductive so if you just have to help, make sure you get your tasks done first, then lend a helping hand.

Now you look doubly good in front of your boss.

Tip 5 : Have More Sex!

We’ll bet the house that everyone will have no problem with this particular tip. It all boils down to this: the more sex you have, the happier and calmer you’ll be in the workplace. That makes sense, right?

Experts suggest having sex at least 4 times a week should do the trick. (No arguments here!) Regular sex is said to result in “higher self-esteem, confidence, and overall happiness, which in turn makes employees more amiable, productive, and creative.”

And there you have it. You’ll be your boss’s favorite in no time flat if you employ these 5 tips.

If all else fails, why not spring for a town car or limo ride for them on National Boss’s Day so they can really feel like a boss?